Introducing Poopy the Sacred Prodigy

I love babies. You all know that by now. I love them in all their stink and glory. But this particular baby... now, I know you're all going to think I'm just biased, and hey, what the heck, yeah, I'm probably just biased... but this baby is something really special.

In case you doubt my word, here's photographic evidence.

She's almost six weeks old now. She's been holding her head up since birth, looking around and assessing the world like the little scientist she is. She was born with chubby cheeks and strong biceps. She was an early smiler, making eye contact and smiling in response to smiles, which she's not "supposed" to be able to do until seven or eight weeks old. You can try to tell me it's gas or a neurological tic, but I'm just not buying it. She's the sweetest, smartest, strongest, best baby ever born to mankind, and that's just objective fact.

However.

People have a troubling tendency to idealize her. I've taken her out only a handful of times, to church and the supermarket, and people say some really silly things. Things like, "Oh, she's such a good baby! I can tell she never cries." and "What a good sleeper! She's sleeping through the night already, I bet!"

Uh, no. Just because she's smiling/sleeping/not screaming bloody murder at this exact second doesn't mean she's always this way. In reality, she's a frequent nurser who rarely sleeps more than 90 minutes at a time. She occasionally howls inconsolably for no perceivable reason. Also, she poops. She doesn't do the thing babies are supposed to do, where they poop a small-to-moderate amount every other feeding, or whatever. No, she saves up her poop, and does one enormous blowout per day. Seriously, it's a problem. She regularly flooded her healing belly button with poop, which made me very nervous. 

I think the reason people say things like this is mostly out of the nostalgia they feel for when their own kids or grandkids were little. They idealize this time as one of simplicity and snuggles and teeny tiny socks. And of course, this is all true. Parenting will never again be as simple as it is now, when I just have the one tiny baby with the very straightforward needs. But it's also a little unfair to me, or to any new parent, because it minimizes what we're going through-- a massive period of adjustment with very little sleep.

Most of all, though, it's unfair to her. Because yes, she cries and poops and refuses to sleep, but yes, she is also still perfect and a very good baby and a sweetheart. It's only fitting that the offspring of Weenie the Holy Vessel and Prince Charming the Butthead should be like this, this holy combination of perfection and farts. She is Poopy the Sacred Prodigy, and she is glorious.